Marriage.... Before and After

Marriage - A social union of individuals that creates kinship. This is what the Wikipedia says.

We hear different definitions from people when we ask them about marriage. Some, who are married say that it is a part of life where we experience hell; some say that it is interesting part of life; some say that it is a relationship that binds a boy and a girl to.... blah.. blah. Well, these versions are all one side of the coin. The other side- those who are not married. These people say that it is the part of life that is yet to be explored; some say that it is a promotion from one stage of the life to another stage; a burden that draws comfort zone around an individual. It all depends on how people perceive it. Be it a love marriage or an arranged one, it is up to the individuals how they take it. All of us at one stage of the life will go through this transformation. I would say that it is a transformation that changes the life or lifestyle of a person.

Most of us tend to be very easy going before marriage. It is because; we depend on our parents mostly until our studies. When once we enter into job life, we start thinking differently. We start coming out of the comfort zones to explore life. Yes, it is during the time when we are independent.

When people get married, they change their thinking and by the way they change their life. I see people more reserved, after they are married. Until then, they will be so jovial and easy going. All of a sudden things start changing for them. They start behaving in a different manner. They don't accompany us for breaks, during office hours. They don't join us for lunch. They don't involve much in the gossips. They start developing a boundary around them. They don't seem to care for what is happening around them. And yes, they don't join us for the weekly movie outings and for hang around places. Yes, I understand that they need to spend time with their family. But, it should not isolate from doing other normal stuff.

Is marriage a barrier to an important relationship called friendship? I don't think so. I don't want it to be like that. I don't want my friends to be like that. I don't want my friendship to be weakend due to marriage. I want my friends to be the same with me as they are before. After all, marriage is just a part of Life and it should be digested along with all the other relationships.

Yes, I agree that marriage adds color to our lives. But, it shouldn't be at the cost of relations with friends.

Finally, a tid bit regarding marriage-

When I met her.... Part II

Yes, someone among the girls has named me MP. They are saying MP means Member of Parliament. I know these girls are making fun of me. I very well know that there is something behind that name. MP doesn't stand for Member of Parliament. Swetha is the culprit here. She is the person who named me MP. MP stands for Mudha Pappu. Here is the back ground behind the name. Swetha has explained the reason behind the name. - One day I have visited my friend's house in order to get lab record from him. I am returning from to my house after taking the record. Its noon and the sun is shining very brightly over my head. I am in a hurry to escape the scorching sun. In the same street, I haven't noticed one of my 'friend' who is just returning home from college. I haven't even looked at that person and hurried to my house. There is something running in my mind. Just before that in college, my physics lecturer warned me for not performing well in the lab. That is the reason why I visited one of my friend in order to get suggestions, to perform well in lab. I didn't know that I have to face serious consequences due to this incident.

Here is the consequence. The person whom I have encountered in the street, is Swetha. She is returning home from college. It seems that she has noticed me and tried to talk to me. Its bad on my part for not even looking at her. She is literally jumping on me when she is narrating the incident.

Swetha: Look Vijay! We have been studying in the same class. After all we are friends and we know each other. What's wrong if you talk to me when we meet outside the college? Well, even if you don't talk, I would have felt better if you have just looked at me and given a smile. I felt very bad at that time. You didn't even care about me. Why do you boyz behave like this? Don't you value others feelings?

Me: Come on Swetha. There is something missing out here. I didn't know that you are coming the other way. I haven't noticed you. I was completely disturbed at that time and was thinking about something else. I went to Madan's house and discussed with him regarding lab proceedings. I faced serious scolding from our physics lecturer. If I have noticed you, I would have definitely talked to you for a while. And, please don't misunderstand that boys don't value others feelings. You are thinking very narrowly. Be positive. This is not the way you think. Anyways, as I haven't noticed you- its my mistake on the board. I am sorry if I have hurt you, that day.

This is the discussion between me and Swetha. Do you call this a fitting reply to a fitting question? Whatever it may be, the bottom line is that I seemed to be very much disturbed for becoming a laughing stock. I would rather say that I am acting as if I have felt very bad at the comment. By the way what is meant by this word Mudha Pappu.You might have by now, got the meaning of this word. Mudha Pappu- One who doesn't talk to a girl. This is how the girls defined MP. From then on, I didn't involve much in the party. I am sitting lonely in the back bench not caring about what is happening in the party. I have noticed that a few are observing me. Swetha is one among those. After ten minutes, I started to leave. Swetha noticed me leaving. She is coming running towards me. She is apologising for naming me MP. Well, its all part of a game and we have to move on. My answer is as simple as that- 'Its okay'. I didn't pay much interest to what Swetha is telling. I have left the party abruptly.

From then on, I have started avoiding Swetha. I didn't even turn my face towards her while entering the class room. She is seated just in front of the door, in the first bench. Whatever she has told me I began doing the same. This is the aftermath of what has happened on the day of the party. Believe me, I am furious for what she has named me. I am talking to all the other girls in the class doing the lab hours or during break time. I didn't talk to Swetha at all. This happened for a week. I came to know that she wants to talk to me one on one. But, I didn't give her a chance. I am always hanging on with someone or the other in the classroom. I am not giving her a chance to find me alone. One fine day, I am rushing downstairs to the canteen for my breakfast. I am all alone. She came running behind me, along with her bench mate. She shouted my name- Vijay.

Swetha: Vijay! I am sorry for two things. One- for naming you MP. I didn't mean to hurt you. It's just a matter of misunderstanding. I deeply apologise for that. You seem to be avoiding me now a days due to that. Please be as usual. We both are good friends rite? Come on, I don't want you to be disturbed due to all this. Second- I have entered into your area in 'Programming in C' lab without your knowledge and have written a program. The program name is 'SW.EXE' Run this program when you go to C lab.

Me: That's OK Swetha. I understand that. I left all this stuff on that day itself. Of course, we are good friends.

All of us are supposed to create an account and start writing the computer programs in C language according to the syllabus. We are supposed to write the programs in a stipulated time and execute them successfully. I entered into the Computer Science lab and logged into my area. The latest program that is written is SW.EXE. It read like this:

main()

{

printf("I AM SORRY. PLEASE EXCUSE ME");

printf("\nI AM SORRY. PLEASE EXCUSE ME");

printf("\nI AM SORRY. PLEASE EXCUSE ME");

}

end

I felt a sense of pleasant feeling running through my veins. She is very innocent, soft,cute and a clever girl. Yes, she is my first crush.

When I met her.... Part I

It is the first year of my graduation. Just a couple of months have passed on from the college reopening day. We are just about to be buried in the seriousness of the engineering subjects. It's totally a new atmosphere. New friends, new environment, new classrooms, new subjects and totally a new life. We are just tuning to the frequency of the engineering life. By then, I am acquainted with at least half our class members. Or, I would rather say half of the boys in our class.

Oh! I forgot to say this- Stepping into graduation, I have entered into another new experience. It's the co-education. I haven't studied with girls until my plus two. I really didn't know how to react, if any girl talks to me. Getting acquainted with a girl is a tough thing for me. I have never talked to any of them for about two months. Ahh... We have the so called labs- Physics lab; Chemistry lab; Computer Science lab etc. In those labs people are divided into groups. Each group is asked to work on a single experiment. Yes, during that period I have started talking to them slowly.

Well, within few weeks I came to know a few of them. Within due course of time I am acquainted with each and everyone in the classroom (boys and girls). In the beginning, there is no interaction between boys and girls. Later on as the days rolled by, the class would be a fish market if the lecturer is absent. Believe me, it is worse than a fish market. We are asked to sit according to our roll numbers due to miscellaneous reasons. Moreover boys and girls are seated separately. My place is next to girls' column. We are going to celebrate the birthday of one of our friend. Nine of the girls and fifteen of the boys agreed to stay back on Saturday. Hey, don't forget me. I am one among the fifteen boys. Here comes the meeting place.

Saturday classes seem to be very boring. We are all waiting for the first birthday gathering, in our graduation. It has been decided to celebrate in the class room itself, after the college hours. The time has come. Those who wanted to leave home have vacated the room. It is Shravan's (name changed) day. Shravan is blowing the candles on the cake with a lot of enthusiasm. He distributed the pieces of cake. We are having the snacks that we have ordered along with the cake. People are having fun, cracking jokes on others, belittling the lecturers in the college. One of us asked the birth dates of all the other girls present there. In turn, they are asking our birth dates. Finally, Shravan prepared a list of DOB's of the girls and among the girls, She noted all the DOB's of the boys.

Her name is Swetha (name changed). I didn't speak with her one on one until now. Taking the list from Swetha, I am reading out all the dates. Suddenly I noticed that my name is missed out. May 18th is my birth date. Then I have come to know that none of the others DOB is same as mine. I can see May18th in the list, but there is a different name written against it. I have sensed something fishy is happening. Swetha has written MP against May18th.

Swetha! You are the one who noted the names rite.
Yes Vijay.
What is this MP, buddy? May 18th is my DOB. Is there someone by the name MP. I think you have missed out my name.
No. I know that May18th is your birth day. You are MP.
Come on. What do you mean by that. Is there a nick name for me? What does it stand for?
All the other girls in the class suddenly burst into laughter. Oh yeah! Here is the solution. These folks are hiding something.

To be continued in Part II.... Stay glued for the main episode...